On April 16th I turn 40 years old.

To summarize who I am.

I am able to stand up and walk away from the deathbed that was calling to me this year.

My son is my reason for continuing living.   He is 13 and is definitely the classic 13 year old, ‘nuf said.

I  will bend over backwards to help anyone out that needs help, as long as I can.

I cuss.

I would rather watch a romantic comedy or chick-flick then an action or horror movie.

I frequently belittle people for being stupid in my head.   I hate stupidity, I can deal with ignorance and be compassionate about it.

I love who I am, I feel I’m a great guy with a lot to offer.   I get sad and often lonely.

I do not feel I am intelligent, fortunately I will try and try and try to understand and learn; and keep learning.

I have lived a life of 1000 people before my son came along.  I do not regret deciding to be there as a father for him, I just wish I could afford he could have the experiences I have.

I loved my father, I love my mother.

I love most of my family, even though I rarely if ever get to see them unless there was a tragedy.

I have hurt people, I have destroyed people and I have been hurt.

I thrive to help people, especially the community in which I’m involved in.

I have been loved, have loved.

I regret leaving every girl I would now know I could have had a wonderful life with.

I wanted to be an artist.   I do not have the skill.

I have made some beautiful things, music, paintings, drawings, but never with skill backing it up.

I have given the opportunities that I should have jumped on to others because I felt they deserved them more then I.

I don’t have a best friend, no matter how much I wanted to be a part of a friends life.   No one to remember the ‘good old days’ with.

I am too proud to ever ask for help.  I am conflicted to whether or not this is a blessing or curse.

I have always wanted to believe in the Christian God, unfortunately to me that God is a lie.   Do I believe in God, yes.  That God, no.

I am not racist, I just dislike people who blame my race for their problems.   I also do not like a segment of the population who think that the society should pay them back for their problems.

I am grateful.

I am grateful for you, those people who have appreciated and felt comforted in knowing that I am there to help them.

– Philip Michel Hofer (Frumph)